Realising being ‘grown’ is just fancy chaos 🥴-Marriage, engagements & all that pressure 💍

 

So apparently, we’ve officially entered that era where every weekend there’s either is a wedding, a Chilanga mulilo, an engagement, or a kitchen party. If it’s not yours, you’re either dancing for someone else, balancing a plate of rice and chicken, or checking your Pinterest board, trying to figure out what to wear at last minute. And if it is yours? Well… congratulations!! let’s just say the fun doesn’t end with the ring. 😂 

Some of the “new aunties and uncles” are happily married and succeeding. They’re glowing, posting anniversary pictures, and giving us “love goals” content. 

Others are engaged and busy trying to decide on colour themes, guest lists, and family politics (because suddenly everyone wants to “own” your wedding). Meanwhile at the wedding meetings? they’re asking ‘Who’s paying for the decor? Can’t we just have this instead of that?’ Like… sorry, did I miss the part where it stopped being my wedding? 😂💀

Then there’s the new aunties and uncles who belong to the “single crew” or the “still figuring it out” squad. The ones who show up at weddings only to get ambushed with, “So, when are we dancing?” Hello! relax bana Chola! Dancing to what, kanshi? Dance With You by Chanda na Kay? A TikTok challenge? Jerusalema remix? Please, let me chew my chicken in peace before you put me on the dancefloor. 🍗💃🏽😂

 I’ll be honest, some days I laugh it off, other days it gets to me.

A close friend told me how at her brother’s wedding, she felt as though people were literally side eyeing her like she was next in line for the bouquet whether she wanted it or not. Another friend said she only got engaged mostly to stop the questions from her mother (don’t worry, she loves him too 😅). And me? Let’s just say I’ve had my fair share of “when is it your turn” moments, and sometimes it feels like life is rushing us through a checklist we never signed.

And then there’s the unspoken part of “aunties and uncles” who were once engaged or married, but life happened and things fell apart. Trust me, I’ve seen close friends walk through that pain. However, we don’t talk enough about how hard it is to deal not just with the heartbreak, but also with the embarrassment, rumors, and stories that follow. Nobody plans for it, but sometimes it’s just part of the journey.

On the other side, some “new aunties and uncles” are still single or just dating quietly, and the pressure is pressuring. Family gatherings feel like small job interviews. You pull up to a wedding just to enjoy the food, then boom! “You’re next!” Excuse ma’am, hello? I only came for the rice and Fanta, how did I end up on the program?? 👀😂

For those new aunties and uncles who start sinking when they realize we’re “growing” and they don’t have a partner yet, it’s easy to feel left out, like they’re running late for some invisible deadline. I’ve talked about this with colleagues, and honestly, society really acts like if you’re not in a serious relationship by 25, you’ve somehow “missed the train.” 🚂 But… whose train is this? Who even set the timetable? Because I promise I never saw the schedule. 🤷🏽‍♀️😂

And let’s be real, modern love isn’t helping. Some “new aunties and uncles” are swiping and scrolling through dating apps, trying to find something serious. These apps are supposed to make love easier, right? But instead, many are stuck in endless “talking stages” that never graduate. Ghosting? Oh, please! it’s practically a sport now. And for the guys who say “let’s vibe” instead of “let’s date”… sir, what is this, Lusaka traffic? Are we just moving aimlessly in circles? 🙄😂

Sometimes I think about our parents’ generation. By 25, they were married, had three kids, maybe even a small plot of land, building homes. Meanwhile, here we are, proudly celebrating the fact that we paid rent on time or finally bought a blender. And the blender? Bought it with big dreams of green smoothies and clean living… but catch me at 20:00 making two packets of Binto noodles like it’s fine dining 😂🍜 #Adulting 101. And don’t even get me started on trying to explain this to Zambian parents, because they’re watching our timelines, comparing us to their stage. “By your age we had a family, a house, and livestock…” Meanwhile me: proud because I finally fixed my WiFi. 😂 And thanks, for reminding us we’re “behind.” 😬🤭

That’s the reality in this “new aunty and uncle” era. But here’s the thing, adulthood isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some people marry young, some later, some not at all, and that’s perfectly okay. The “new auntie/uncle” life comes with enough responsibilities as it is, without adding extra timelines that don’t fit everyone’s story.

So, congratulations to our married “new aunties and uncles,” we’re dancing with you. If you’re engaged, we’re on standby for those committees and Chilanga Mulilo outfits. If you’re still figuring it out, we’re cheering you on, because there’s no rush. And if you’re just not interested in that chapter? Period! Live your story, not the pressure 💁🏽‍♀️.

We’re all just trying to survive this stage of life with grace. That’s the beautiful, chaotic, messy reality of being a new auntie/uncle today.

Okay, your turn now, what’s your story in this marriage/engagement/pressure saga? 😅💍

Drop your experiences in the comments and let’s laugh, celebrate love, cry, and remind each other we’re not alone in this!

Yours truly,

Resident New Aunty 💁🏽‍♀️✨