Consider this your permission slip to do it scared anyway.

 

Fellow aunties and uncles, please gather around. 

First of all, I know I have been quiet. Very quiet actually.🤭

Some of you may have wondered whether Resident New Aunty had finally retired from giving unsolicited premature advice and disappeared into adulthood. 😂

No, my people, I am still here, life has just been lifing 😂

You know those seasons where you have so much going on that even the things you genuinely enjoy somehow end up on the “I’ll get to it” list? Yep, that has been me.

Work has been work, Family, Adult responsibilities have been doing what adult responsibilities do best by responsibly stressing me out. 😂 And honestly, I have reached that stage of adulthood where saying “I’m busy” can mean absolutely anything. It can mean I have 47 WhatsApp messages I have not replied to, it can mean I am tired and have decided that lying down for five minutes is now a huge life activity, sometimes it simply means I am sitting somewhere thinking, “How did we get here?” Because being in your twenties or thirties is such an experience on its own.

And somewhere in between trying to keep up with everything, I realised I had gone quiet here too. But honestly, I have missed sitting down and thinking about all the strange, funny, exciting and sometimes confusing things that come with becoming an adult.

So........, hello again, fellow Aunties and Uncles.❤️

I was reading something recently about giving yourself permission, and it really made me stop and think about my own life, because I realised that sometimes I do this too. Those who know me know that I will call you at the slightest inconvenience, or even convenience, to ask for advice or a second opinion on just about anything. 😂 I like to hear what someone else thinks before I make a decision, and honestly, there is nothing wrong with seeking advice. But sometimes, I have realised that I am not necessarily looking for advice. I am looking for reassurance that I am making the right decision. In some cases I wait until I feel ready, I wait until I am sure, I wait until I have a plan, I wait until I know what the outcome will be, I wait until I feel like I have enough experience to justify making the decision, and sometimes I wonder if I am not just disguising fear as being practical, because how many things have I wanted to do but talked myself out of because I was afraid? How many opportunities have I looked at and thought, “Maybe later”because I did not feel qualified enough? How many times have I wanted to make a change but convinced myself that I needed everyone else to agree first?

I think this is one of the funny things about becoming a new aunty or uncle.

We are now old enough for people to start expecting us to know what we are doing. But deep down we know that, some days, we are still like, “Guys, I am also trying to figure this out.”😂

We are at a point where we are making decisions about careers, relationships, marriage, money, friendships, family and our future.

Some of us are starting businesses,  changing careers, going back to school, getting married or choosing to remain single and some are starting over completely. But guess what? Everyone seems to have an opinion, “You should do this. You should have achieved that by now. Why haven't you bought a house? When are the children coming? When are you getting married? Why are you still studying? Why did you leave that job? Why don't you start a business? Why are you not doing what everyone else is doing? Why did you leave that relationship or marriage?”

And after hearing all these voices, sometimes we forget to listen to our own.

I am learning that there is a difference between seeking wisdom and seeking permission.

I want people I trust to advise me, I want people who love me to challenge me, I want to listen, learn and make informed decisions, but I also don't want to spend my entire life waiting for someone else to tell me that I am allowed to live it.

Because sometimes, the person we are waiting for is ourselves.

We are allowed to change our minds. We are allowed to admit that something no longer works for us. We are allowed to try something new. We are allowed to start again. We are allowed to take a different path from the people around us. We are allowed to be proud of how far we have come, even when we are nowhere near where we want to be.

And perhaps most importantly, we are allowed to do things before we feel completely ready.

That last one is a big one for me.

Because I have always liked knowing what I am getting myself into. I like having a plan. I like knowing that I can handle something before I say yes to it. But life does not always give us that luxury. Sometimes you have to take the step and figure things out along the way, sometimes you have to apply even though you are convinced there are people more qualified than you, sometimes you have to speak up even though your voice shakes, sometimes you have to start the project before you know exactly where it will end, sometimes you have to make the decision and trust that you will learn from whatever comes next.

And honestly, I am learning to become more comfortable with that.

Do it scared. I think that might be some of the best advice we can give ourselves, fellow aunties and uncles. Not because fear is always a sign that we should move forward. Sometimes fear is warning us to stop and think. But sometimes fear is simply telling us that “this matters to you.”

And don't let fear become the reason you keep postponing the life you want. You don't have to keep waiting for the perfect time, the perfect plan or the perfect version of yourself because that version of you may never arrive.

Maybe you just have to begin as you are, a little unsure, a little scared, still learning, still growing, still making mistakes, still figuring out what this whole adulthood thing is supposed to look like. And maybe that is okay.

So, fellow new aunties and uncles, if there is something sitting in the back of your mind that you have been putting off because you are waiting to feel ready, perhaps this is your little reminder.

You don't need to have everything figured out, you don't need everyone's approval, you don't need to know exactly how the story ends, sometimes you just need enough courage to turn the page. 

And honestly, I am telling myself the same thing. Because while I may have been quiet here, I have not stopped growing, learning, questioning and becoming.

Life has just been lifing, but I am still here, still figuring it out, still becoming, and still, occasionally, looking around and thinking and remembering that “Wait... we are actually the adults now”😂

Anyway, welcome back to another chapter of figuring out life together.

Until next time,

With love,

Resident New Aunty❤️