When did we become the Aunties/Uncles? Plot twist: Adulthood isn’t what the trailer promised 🍿

 

Three months to go before 2025 ends, and I must say, this year alone has been a roller coaster. I don’t mean in the ‘adventures, lunch hangouts, and random friend escapades’ kind of way. I had one of those moments that really slapped me into realising that we’re not the babies anymore… we’re the “new aunties/ uncles” now.

So, picture this. In the second quarter of the year, a close friend of mine lost his mother. I went to visit just to show some love and support. Now, my friend lost his dad back in his teen years, he probably had all the time in the world to cry, grieve, and slowly heal. But this time? Nah… totally different story 😬.

The first time I saw him at the funeral house after he lost his mother, he looked so composed. Too composed. His face didn’t even look like someone who was mourning. Like, bro… are you even allowed to cry or what?

The usual talking and catching up led him to spill the truth about the pressure being all on him as the firstborn in his “new uncle” era. Bear in mind, other adults were around, but this “new uncle” had to handle food, transport, the burial site, coffins, family politics, you name it. And he did it all ALONE! 😩 Just to give his mother a decent send off. Welcome to adulthood, folks.

He literally said, “Thank God I saved some money. If I hadn’t, I would have been the laughing stock of the family. Everyone’s demanding this and that and yet no one is stepping up to help. I’m just over here watching and writing in the book of remembrance.” And just like that, it hit me. This is the “new uncle role.” The one we never signed up for but somehow life decided to promote us anyway.

And because we’re the new supportive “aunties”now too, right, guess what we were up to at 22 hours the night before the burial? We drove around the city, putting all the final touches in place, calling everyone we knew, hunting for chickens and making sure the tents and chairs were all set for the next day. Not “Netflix and chill,” but “funeral errands and stress.” 🙃

Everything was set for Thursday. But, when laying flowers on his mother’s grave, that’s the first time I saw my friend break down for real. Yoh. Reality finally sunk in. It’s like he was holding it all in while running around being the responsible “new uncle.” And, that’s when I realised that adulthood isn’t just about choosing to be strong, sometimes life pushes you into it and you have no choice but to hold it together, whether you like it or not and whether you can afford it or not.

I’ll tell you this, funerals hit different now. Back then, as children, we just showed up, cried, ate food, and left. But now? You’re not just a mourner, you’re the organiser, the facilitator and the coordinator. Imagine you’re crying while also thinking, “Is the food enough for everyone at lunch and supper? Who’s handling transport? Are the chairs enough?” Bruh. 🤦🏽‍♀️

And don’t even get me started on funeral songs 😩. Somehow, in the middle of everything going on, people are looking at you to lead a hymn. Me? I only know the first verse of “Chalo Cha Maluba maluba…” 😅 The rest? I’m just standing there mumbling like I’m auditioning for a new language ku icon, “Init bruv” 😅. At this rate, I might have to start a “Funeral Songs 101” crash course just to survive this new era 🤦🏽‍♀️.

But jokes aside, in this whole “new aunty/uncle” phase, funerals have been a harsh teacher. If it’s your family funeral and you’re buried under responsibilities, you won’t really have time to mourn in the moment, but make sure to give yourself time to grieve afterward. Let yourself cry, break down, and step away from everything going on and heal. Otherwise, all that weight piles up until it hits you all at once.

However, if it’s a friend going through it? Stick around, not just for the day itself, but afterward too. That’s what real “new aunties/uncles” do. Because trust me, family tensions, silent grief, and the endless “what now?” questions don’t magically disappear once the grave is covered.

So yeah, adulthood is not what we thought it would be. We thought it was vibes, lunch dates, road trips, and securing the bag. But it comes with huge responsibilities, being leaned on, and holding things together when you’d rather fall apart.

We’re the new aunties/ uncles in town now. We didn’t sign up, but here we are. And honestly? We’ll figure it out together. 💕

Okay, spill the tea ☕ what’s been your experience in this whole “new aunty/uncle” era especially at funerals? Please share your stories, rants, or funny moments in the comments 👇. Let’s laugh, cry (a little), and survive this adulting chapter together. 

And hey, don’t forget to share this with your friends/ on your socials. Someone out there needs to know they’re not alone pretending they have it all together 😅💁🏽‍♀️

Thank you for reading this far 🙏🏽 🤗 

Until next time 

Yours truly,

The Resident “New Aunty” 💁🏽‍♀️💕